I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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