My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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