just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My balls are so social today.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
