You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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