I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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