call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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