Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
