NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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