I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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