Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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