We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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