The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
