Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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