After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
