I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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