so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
