You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
