i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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