worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
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What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
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Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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