she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize