I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do vagina's smell?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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