you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize