im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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