I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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