This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
