is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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