I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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