So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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