Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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