i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
