I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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