Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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