you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
