ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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