I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
