winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
