I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize