Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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