the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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