No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I deserve this hangover.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
