Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
