What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
