do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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