I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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