I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
