oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
