im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize