so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
