is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
