oh god the rape fog is back!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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