We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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