I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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