I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
