So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
