i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
