he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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