Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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