Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
