She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
