hotel room ftw
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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