dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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