I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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