I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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